we should wear snuggies to the strip club
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
it's like heaven, but drunker
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
