im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
