If that was your dad, he is hot
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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