i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
