Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
