You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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