This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
