you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
