I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
