the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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