i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
