and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
This toilet bowl is my home.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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