It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
