lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
