you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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