I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
