nut hugger
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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