i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
