You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
