covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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