1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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