dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
i out mim tonsoeep
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