lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
