WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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