I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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