he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I think my moral compass just broke
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
