JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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