then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Your tits are I can't wait for
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
