Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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