I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
