she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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