I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
