She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
