oh god the rape fog is back!
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
