Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
