I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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