it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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