Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
