why didn't you poke me back
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
