Don't you send me to vm
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
