Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
