after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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