If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
