I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
So squirting runs in the family.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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