Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
