He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize