You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
