so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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