So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
