i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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