Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There r osticjed everywhere
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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