Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
