so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
