I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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