He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
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While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
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Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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