420 ftw
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
