the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize