My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
