Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
