so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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