I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
