I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
