i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
