The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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