i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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