every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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