Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
As shirtless as possible
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
