i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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